Baptism Testimony: Ellen Owens
At our fall family picnic, we celebrated God at work through the sacrament of baptism. It's amazing grace to see folks publically declare their faith in Jesus Christ.
Ellen Owens was baptised that day. Here is the testimony she shared:
“I grew up in the church, in a Christian family. When I was young, my parents were called to be missionaries in China, and we’ve always had a heart for adoption. But even with witnessing all these acts of grace, I still struggled with doubt, worry, pain, questions, and so many more things. I had always felt like God loved me, but at the same time, I felt like I was worthless, ignored, and unloved. I felt like no one could understand me. In the sixth grade, I had struggled with the question of ‘Why?’. ‘Why was I here?’. ‘Why is everything that’s happening to me happening?’, and the fear of the unknown slowly turned me away from the Lord. To answer these questions, I turned to harming myself, both physically and mentally. I turned to anger, and as a result, broke a lot of good relationships that I once had. I turned to everything but Jesus Christ. I felt unclean, corrupt, and guilty, which only led me to more anger and consequences.
On one adoption trip two years ago, I was fortunate enough to join my family and one of my sisters to go to China and adopt two of my, now, sisters. When we got there, we first went to BeiJing to get my little sister, Sylvie. Now, Sylvie was at an orphanage where all the kids there either had a major medical need, a mental disability, or a physical disability. Now, since I could remember, I have felt like I’ve been blessed by the Lord with a calling to help the orphans of the world. When we were at that orphanage, the Lord did his first major work in my heart. He showed me that he has never, and never will, ever forsake me and that he loved me and that it was time to give my everything to him. Skip a year, and it’s eighth grade. Ever since that trip to China, the Lord has really been after my heart. He showed me time after time that he was there, that he loved me, and that he was capable of the impossible. And time after time, I rejected him, after all, I’m a sinner, and wasn’t ready to give up all of me to him. At one point, in that year, the Lord gave me answers to my ‘Whys?’. It was at youth group, and as we talked that night in groups, the Lord slowly brought part of his plan for me to my eyes. But, again, the fear of the unknown crushed me. I was so scared as to what would happen if I were to actually give my life to him.
April 14, 2017, I’m with my family at the Good Friday Service. The lights are dimmed, there’s a cross, there’s prayer, there’s worship, and there’s me, on the left side of the auditorium doubting everything and so, so scared. Then there’s Jesus. On that God-Blessed day, I felt the Lord Jesus Christ put his hand on my shoulder, and lift all the weight of worry, doubt, pain, everything big or small off of my shoulders. On that day he welcomed me, and I was set free. He saved me. He gave me faith and hope.
Now, with my Christ-given faith, the Lord has showed me time after time that I am his. I realized that he would always give me what I needed when I needed it. At those times of need, it seems like nothing would ever get better. But he showed me that he was there. That he knew the answer. That he was my place of comfort. With this new faith, I still struggle, but I turn to God, my savior that rose from the dead to give me life free from sin. Now, I still struggle with the fear of the unknown, but now, instead of letting that fear control me, I trust and know that God is with me. Now, and forever. I realize what I couldn’t have realized on my own. I was ready to accept the Lord and his words:
‘Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.’ Matthew 5:6.”
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